Yes, we need a global revolution!

Berlin, 9:39, Tag 603

Heute Nacht habe ich Banker zum Beauty Contest in unseren Besprechungsraum eingeladen. Am Telefon sollte ich einem meinen Lebenslauf erzählen. Ich merkte, dass er arrogant den Hörer zur Seite legte, während ich sprach. Ich wachte sehr zeitig auf und schrieb schon einmal über Istanbul. Jetzt weiter:

Umair Haque hat passend zu den Ereignissen zu einer friedvollen, nicht gewalttätigen, positiven und hoffnungsvollen Weltrevolution aufgerufen. Seite Tweets von gestern Nacht sind so grossartig, dass sie hier her gehören! Und falls Twitter wieder mal die API ändert, hab ich alles kopiert und das erste Wort mit dem Tweet verlinkt:

We need a new global movement to kick this generation of leaders out of office and make room for people who fucking care.

I changed my mind. We need a revolution. We need it globally. And we need it now.

Please note that I am not calling for violence and all tweets today are a joke, especially if you’re a government database.

1. This generation of global leaders is thoroughly, totally, lethally, ruthlessly, utterly incompetent.

2. This generation of global leaders is turning back the clock on decades of real human prosperity: liberalism’s greatest achievement.

3. This generation of global leaders seems to think their job is to enrich the rich, suffocate the young, and damn the future.

4. We need a global revolution to topple this generation of failed leaders from their thrones.

5. A global revolution must be peaceful, nonviolent, positive, and hopeful.

6. The real point of a revolution is to build new institutions. At this, most fail. Very few succeed.

7. The greatest thing standing in the way of most revolutions is revolutionaries.

8. A revolution run by self-professed revolutionaries inevitably fails; they’re as rigid as the leaders they wish to topple.

9. Revolutions tend to create dystopias. But they are also the engine of historical progress.

10. If a global revolution is to succeed, it must be detached from a single political stance. It must simply be for a working politics.

11. If there’s no revolution, not much will change for the next decade.

12. I am not a revolutionary. I’m just making some observations.

13. Radical politics are what caused the global political economy to break down. They won’t be what fixes it.

14. If we’re going to have a revolution, you can’t join it if you wear a fedora. You have to look acceptably cool.

15. Short of a global revolution, this generation of leaders will never change, move, or care. They’re too dumb, greedy, and/or evil.

16. If you don’t care about your future, why do you expect fatcat psychopaths in private jets to?

16. Chocolate always helps.

18. The extreme left is just as foolish as the extreme right. But the center cannot hold. It’s a total breakdown.

19. If someone discusses revolution instead of art, fashion, or poetry, they’re automatically excommunicated from the revolution.

19. No one in Brooklyn is allowed to join the revolution.

20. Liberalism has done more good for the world in fifty years than all the crackpot fringe political movements have done in 500.

21. Take political theory 101. Preferably, at a good university.

I’ll stop there. And I won’t hold my breath. Kim Kardashian gets more attention in a single tweet than revolution. Why?

 

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